Thursday, November 15, 2007

Abuse and the Homeschool?

I have read online about some who are against homeschooling say that most that "homeschool" do so because they abuse their kids. That if they went to public/private school they wouldn't get away with it. I just think that's ridiculous because I know for a fact that some child abuse still get's ignored in some schools. How do I know this? Because my hubby was very much abused growing up by his father and he went to on school from the time he was in second grade till he graduated. Never was he asked what the bruises were from. Never did anyone call CPS on his parents. My husband was the oldest of five and he and his mother would get the most of it. It got so bad that at the age of sixteen he left and lived with his grandpa. That was just before the time we met and got together.

So to say the schools would find these cases is a lie. Granted they may find some but in some cases they look the other way or never know what's going on. And before someone say's well bigger schools might not see everything the school my hubby went to was very small. Small in that everyone knew your name. I know of other people that have had similar experiences (in different schools mind you) and never had anyone to help them either.

Thankfully (or should I say fortunately) hubby isn't an abusive husband or father. He broke the cycle. In fact I do more of the discipline because he doesn't like to. Our discipline usually consist of sending them in their room to cool off, time out's or taking away of things they hold dear like a certain toy or game. So unless that's called abuse then I think we are doing ok LOL.

Abuse happens everywhere not just in homeschools and not just in public/private schools. Parents aren't always the one to be the abusers and neither are teachers or someone in charge. We should all do what we can to stop they cycle when we see it. There are sick people out there that do abuse children in one form or another. We should join in helping to stop this madness not try and blame everyone around you. Yes there are some sick people that use "homeschooling" as a guise for abuse but then again that's not true homeschooling! There are also teachers or other authority figures that use being a teacher or person of authority to abuse children. Just as most teachers and people of authority are abusers neither are most homeschooling parents/guardians an abuser.

I write this to inform people that abuse isn't just in a homeschool environment and we as parents should work together in helping those that are abused in any situation. Not try and blame every homeschool parent or every teacher of abuse. Yes it happens but not with every situation.

3 comments:

Julie said...

You know, I've heard this before!!! I actually saw it on the NEWS 2-3 years ago!... I was so peaved that I believe I wrote a vent/rant post about it on my blog. *lol* ... I can't believe that people think we homeschool just because we have something to hide. *sigh*

Jody said...

Ugh really? Don't you just hate that when people just assume things like that? And they say we homeschoolers are under a rock LOL.

Ruth said...

Jody,
I know this post is ancient. I just saw the category under the new post on homeschooling, pros and cons, and got all nosey!

Homeschooling and very strict parenting are linked in some circles. If you are familiar with the Pearls, you'll find they advocate a very isolated lifestyle, strict parenting and homeschooling, of course.

The first books I read that got me thinking about homeschooling were by Mary Pride "the way home" and "all the way home". They were good, but had a lot of "bad" stuff in them too. She also advocates a lot of spanking, almost isolating your children, and a very radical lifestyle. By radical, I mean they believe in cutting themselves off from the world, to the extent of banning youth groups (even church ones), not sending their children (especially daughters) to university, etc..
I don't think that most of these things are abuse in themselves, but it does get people raising eyebrows and wondering whether something is going on behind closed doors.

Then you have extreme cases like "Papa Pilgrim" in Alaska who took his whole family out into the woods, cut them off from society, presumably to live God's way, homeschool, etc... He abused his family in ways that make your head stand straight up.

I see what you mean. It's not fair to be grouped in with the nut cases.